"Dear Diary
Making decisions isn't usually an issue for me. I tend to be quite focused and generally know what is right for me. Recently though, I've been experiencing situations where a face a dilemma. The good news is that the dilemma comes about because there are two or more options that I want to choose...and often they are only small decisions...but it's left me wondering how I can always ensure I am making the right choice in the moment. So short of cloning myself.. what can I do?!"
There are always going to be different choices we can make, and unless we have clear criteria for making our decisions, it can be a challenge to identify what is most important to us, and therefore what we ought to do.
We make our decisions based on our values. Values are deeply held beliefs about what we believe to be "good" or "right" and what we think will ultimately bring us the results we want. Sometimes, however, we perceive that we will get different benefits from doing different things, and this sets up a dilemma (known as a towards-towards conflict in NLP).
For example, I could choose to spend time with friends to meet my values around friendship and connection, I might choose to go to the gym which would meet my values around health and wellbeing, or I might choose to write some more of my book which would meet my values around career and success.
So when there are a number of choices that are appealing, how do we pick the right one?!
The quickest way to transcend a dilemma is to identify how you can meet your highest values in a way that contributes to your longer term goals. So I might decide to go to the gym as having good health will ultimately allow me to achieve more career success...and if I buddy up with a friend, I get a hit on all of my values!
Kate Trafford in her blog post "Does this really matter?" (see http://katetrafford.typepad.com/successatwork/2008/09/does-this-reall.html ) offers the following great advice:
"really begin to think through what matters most to you, contributes most to your growth and expansion as a person, and supports you in making the difference in your world that you really want to make."
Doing this will bring you into alignment with the decisions you make... knowing that your choices are leading you to become the best you can be!
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